From Conflict to Connection
Mastering the Art of Repair
Whether it’s with a friend, partner, parent, child, neighbour, or coworker—most of us have more than enough experience at conflict. We create it, avoid it, and engage in it. But how many of us have mastered the art of repair after a conflict or regrettable incident? While we can’t erase a fight once it’s happened, we can take steps to repair and restore. Conflict happens, and often enough we say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, and end up hurting one another. But one of the most important tools for building a healthy relationship is knowing how to process a fight productively. This month we’re not only going to start a conversation around the art of repair, we have two coworkers who will actually process and repair a deeply regrettable incident live on stage.
Join us for an unforgettable event—a testament to the transformative power of repair and an invitation to create better relationships and communities.
UPCOMING LIVE EVENTS
AFTERMATH OF A FIGHT: GUIDEBOOK
This guidebook is for “processing” past fights, regrettable incidents, or past emotional injuries. “Processing” means that you can talk about the incident without getting back into it again. It needs to be a conversation – as if you were both sitting in the balcony of a theatre looking down on the stage where the action occurred. Click HERE to download the PDF.
RELATIONSHIP COACHING: COACHING & WORKSHOPS
Building on solid evidence based research as to what differentiates the masters from the disasters of relationship, 2-on-2 Relationship Coaches Jonathan & Teresa Penner provide clients with practical tools based on over 40 years of relational research by the Gottman Institute, useful insights through research based assessment tools, and a relational roadmap toward healthier and stronger relationships. MORE INFO HERE
THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE: BLOG POSTS
How We Used the Aftermath of a Fight to Repair Our Relationship
Every conflict offers an opportunity for a deeper understanding. As John Gottman’s research has shown, it’s not what you fight about that matters, but how you repair when your inevitable differences in personality, perspective, and needs collide. If you don’t process these conflicts, then you may both find yourselves feeling disrespected, lonely, and neglected—drifting away from each other like two ships without anchors. Often these wounds are left open. They’re so painful that we tell ourselves “never again will I let my partner see that vulnerable side of me.” READ MORE
Manage Conflict: The Aftermath of a Fight
When you make repair attempts early, you can salvage the point of the conversation and create a more productive and positive outcome. When one or both partners feel hurt, frustrated, or angry after a fight, wouldn’t it be nice to just hit a restart button? Unfortunately, you can’t erase an argument from your memory. However, you can take steps to repair it and move forward. When arguments happen, it’s easy to say or do the wrong thing and hurt one another. One of the most important tools for building a healthy relationship is knowing how to process a fight in a way that helps you learn from it. READ MORE
THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE: VIDEOS
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse | The Gottman Institute: Relationship Behaviors that Lead to Failure
Certain negative communication styles are so lethal to a relationship that Dr. John Gottman calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They predict relationship failure with over 90% accuracy if the behavior isn't changed. WATCH VIDEO
Making Marriage Work | Dr. John Gottman
Here’s the science behind happy relationships! Dr. Gottman outlines the findings, tools and techniques that have helped thousands of couples from around the world build a “Sound Relationship House.” WATCH VIDEO
Repair | Dr. John Gottman
Every relationship experiences conflict and periods of alienation, but the difference between the masters and disasters is their ability to repair. This was filmed at a Seattle Rotary Meeting in October 2009. WATCH VIDEO
