My 3 Day Experience: Mariaha M.
I want to share with you, a little bit about my story, because now I know, that being vulnerable and telling my story, is healing.
Growing up, my dad was an alcoholic. My mom left him when I was about 6 years old. I have no memories of him ever being there for those 6 years. After he left, he was very inconsistent. He was in and out of my life and jail. I felt abandoned and not good enough for him.
Fast forward to when I was 16, I got into a relationship. He was the most funny, caring, kind person. That all changed pretty quickly and I found myself being hurt by him. He cheated on me 6 months into our relationship and laughed at me while I was crying after he told me what he had done. I still stayed with him. Eventually, everything got worse and worse and worse. I was being physically abused, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, psychologically, sexually, almost every way a person can abuse someone, he did to me. I would get beat with objects, and weapons, thrown down stairs. I was held hostage for weeks on a couple occasions. He owned guns so I was terrified to even try to leave. There were a few times that I was forced to write my own suicide notes because he said he was going to take my life… and so much more. I was alone. I ended up becoming an addict and feeling like I had no place in the world.
Fast forward 8 years, I had my daughter already and our house got raided, he went to jail for 2 years and I took my chance and I left him while he was no where near me to hurt me. That ended up in me being in a second abusive relationship. Because of these relationships, I felt worthless, useless, ugly, not deserving, I felt like no one would ever love me, I was a doormat for so many years and I allowed it, I was a coward.
May 2018, I moved out here (to Greater Vancouver). I moved to get away from the toxicity of the people I allowed in my life, I moved away to get clean and I moved away so that I could keep my children.
I never knew that there was so many absolutely amazing positive people in the world because I surrounded myself with the hurting, negative people that used drugs and alcohol to cope. I thought that abuse in relationships was a normal thing. I have YOU guys and LifeApp to thank for showing me such an amazing positive loving community.
I cannot express enough how much growth I have seen in myself since the 3 Day. Since I moved here I have been trying to learn to love myself I have been doing classes and counselling at a transition society, addictions counselling, and I felt like no matter what I did, I was just going to be broken and feeling empty forever. This is just who I was. I CHANGED after the 3 Day. I feel so free and weightless, I can’t even put into words how amazing and different I feel. I have this new found confidence in myself as a mother, a friend, a daughter, and as a WOMAN.
You guys made the space so comfortable, sacred, and safe for me to be able to let out my emotions, and to CRY. It really helped me to free myself from my anxiety and worries around crying. The various games and processes were absolutely amazing. I felt comfortable to dance, I felt absolutely loved and cared for, and the affirmation process, broke me down. I had to step away for a couple minutes once my turn was done, I just could not believe that so many amazing people that I just met 2 days prior, thought all these beautiful things about me. And because of that, I now realize how much of an impact I can have on people and I want to embrace that.
Another process helped me realize why my dad was the way he was with me. He was never taught how to be a dad, he was abandoned by his mother and had a hard life as well. So it really helped me understand a bit more as to why he was the way he was. Plus the guilt and shame he must of had from not being present in my life.
Because of this workshop, I now see my worth. I know what I deserve, I know that I am loved.
I AM A STRONG & CONFIDENT WOMAN! ♥️